top of page

Unlocking Mental Well-being: iflow Psychology
Your Trusted Resource for Psychological Support

Your Sydney Psychologists, Australia.

When Relationship Counselling is Not Recommended: Signs to Break Up

Updated: Dec 23, 2023


In the tumultuous journey of love, couples often seek relationship counselling as a beacon of hope to mend what's broken. However, sometimes, relationship counselling may not be the silver bullet to save your partnership.

While it's crucial to acknowledge that counselling can work wonders for many couples, there are certain situations where it's not recommended, and it may be time to break up.

In this blog, we'll explore those scenarios and guide you on when it might be time to consider a separation or breakup.

When-Relationship-Counselling-is-Not-Recommended- Signs-to-Break-Up
Sometimes-it-is better-to-end-a-relationship-if-it-is-beyond-repair

Signs of When it is Time to Break Up

Irreparable Trust Issues

Trust forms the bedrock of any healthy relationship. When trust is shattered beyond repair, it often signifies a marriage or partnership breakdown. Relationship counselling can be challenging in such cases, as rebuilding trust is a lengthy and involved process.

If betrayal or dishonesty remains a recurring theme, it may be a sign that it's time to consider other options.

Abuse and Safety Concerns

In situations involving physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, counselling may not be safe or productive. Your safety and well-being should always be the top priority. A good relationship should provide support and safety and not involve harm and abuse.

If you or your partner is in danger, seeking immediate assistance from a support network, friends, family, or professionals trained to handle such situations is crucial. You should ensure your safety in emergencies and contact the police on 000.

Unresolved Fundamental Differences

While differences can spice up a relationship, there are instances when core values and life goals clash.

Suppose you and your partner repeatedly argue over non-negotiable issues like marriage, parenting and children, or financial priorities. In that case, it may indicate a fundamental incompatibility that counselling might be unable to resolve.

Apathy and Lack of Effort

Counselling requires effort from both parties. Suppose one or both partners are unwilling to invest the time, energy, and commitment necessary to make the relationship work. In that case, it might be a sign that the relationship has reached its end. Indifference can be just as detrimental as active conflict.

One-Sided Efforts

While it's normal for one partner to take the lead in seeking help, it's not advisable if the other remains uncooperative or resistant. A successful relationship requires mutual participation. If one partner is unwilling to engage in counselling, the chances of success decrease significantly. Maybe it is time to get individual counselling instead.

Endless Cycle of Hurt

If your relationship seems stuck in a never-ending cycle of hurt, apologies, and repeat offences, it's time to evaluate whether counselling is the right path. Sometimes, couples may inadvertently use counselling sessions as a battleground to rehash old arguments instead of working towards solutions.

Desire for Independence and Growth

Sometimes, people outgrow their relationships. If you yearn for independence, personal growth, or a life that doesn't include your partner, it might indicate that it's time to consider a separation or breakup.

While this is a difficult decision, it can be the right one. For instance, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee amicably ended their marriage after almost thirty years. The couple stated: 'We have decided to separate to pursue our individual growth."

Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee also said:

"Our family has been and always will be our highest priority. We undertake this next chapter with gratitude, love, and kindness. We greatly appreciate your understanding in respecting our privacy as our family navigates this transition in all of our lives."

If you are planning an amicable separation, then separation counselling can greatly help the transition be as smooth as possible.


In the journey of love, there's no one-size-fits-all answer. While relationship counselling can be transformative for many couples, there are instances when it's not the recommended course of action.

Recognising the signs of an irreparable relationship is essential for your mental and emotional well-being.

If you resonate with any of the above scenarios, seeking professional guidance and considering alternative paths such as separation or breakup is crucial.

If you're facing relationship challenges and unsure whether counselling is right, contact iflow Psychology. Our experienced psychologists and counsellors are here to provide the support and guidance you need to make informed decisions about your relationship.

Remember, your happiness and well-being should always come first.

Ultimately, the goal is to find the path that leads to a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life, whether together or apart.

Find a Psychologist

Professional support is available if you or someone you know is experiencing difficulty. Contact iflow Psychology today. Call 02 6061 1144 to schedule an appointment.

Flexible Counselling Options

iflow Psychology offers in-person, telehealth, and telephone counselling services.

As registered psychologists, we provide compassionate support tailored to your needs. Take the first step in your journey towards well-being.

Medicare Rebates and Referrals

You may be eligible for Medicare rebates with a doctor's referral and a Mental Health Plan. Receive quality care while maximising your healthcare benefits. Let us be part of your path to healing.

Contact Us

Complete our simple enquiry form, and our friendly admin team will contact you during office hours. We are here to answer any questions and assist you in scheduling an appointment.

Location Details

Visit iflow Psychology in Leichhardt, Inner West Sydney, NSW, Australia for in-person consultations. We also provide convenient telehealth services, ensuring accessibility no matter your location.


The information provided on this website is for informational purposes only. Prior to making any decisions, we recommend consulting your treating doctor, health professionals, and legal representatives. This is particularly important if you have health concerns, existing mental health or medical conditions, or if you feel you are not coping.

(c) 2023 Dean Harrison

58 views0 comments


Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page